MY WRITING

Kia ora everyone,

Today I wil be going to show you my writing. First we got a prompt from our site and then we got some words that we have to add into our writing. Then after we did that we had to add our six sences which is smell, sight, hear, taste, touch and emotion. Then my amazing teach Miss Leonard put some feedback a the bottom when we were done. Any way here is my work I hope yoy enjoy...

THE STORM

• Chilling
• Forbidden
• Hesitant
• Unfocused 
• Fascinating

  

• Touch
• Taste
• Sight
• Emotion
• Smell
• hearing

I could hear the thunder, booming in the sky. Suddenly the lights
went out and the room went pitch black, at that moment I felt a
chilling feeling go down my spine.  

You could see the tiredness in my eyes but I was so unfocused
I couldn’t fall asleep. I couldn’t get out of bed, it was like I was
Forbidden to get out of bed and get my phone to ring
someone for help. I was in hesitant mood.

The noise of creaking stairs was playing in my head like it was real “creak creak creak”. All of a satun I saw fascinating at this figure that was at the other end of my room, it looked like a man with no face and a dark hoodie. I was really getting scared know like I could taste the fear in my mouth I could even smell the fear. So I closed my eyes for a bit. 

I finally had the courage to get out of bed and run to the draw across my room and grab my phone but then it starts to play up and set of alarms, play songs and call people I don’t even know. 

I called for help. As the phone was ringing I heard footsteps down stairs, I froze in fear and drop my phone. I grabbed it and ran to see who it was.

We watch the tape and what I saw made me scared he was in my room. The figure was him he went through my phone and he stole a lot of my stuff.

In the morning I moved out and always locked my doors and kept my phone close to me when I sleep.

THE END 

Wow Nevaeh! You have really thought out of the box with your ideas. 

Positives:

• Amazing use of strong words that really grab the reader's attention 
• I love your use of senses in your writing. You have thought hard about how you can include them in sentences.

Next steps:

• Check if the words you had to include fit in your sentences correctly. Read your sentences to make sure they flow.
• Think about your ideas and how they link together. Try not to have too many ideas introduced at once and then cut them off. Think about how they could work together and develop your story. 

Thank you so so so so much for reading. Comment if you like my work or if it is interesting or not. Have good day BYYYYYYEEE